When Perfume Turns Into a Stranger

On grief, depression, and why my left wrist smells like corn

Grief has a way of reshaping the world around us, tinting even the most familiar experiences with new shades of feeling. Recently, I’ve been navigating the heavy fog of depression after losing some dear people in my life. With the support of loved ones and tools to cope, I’ve been finding my way through, but something unexpected caught my attention: the way perfumes smell on my skin has changed.

Last week, after a day at Mythologist Studio, I tested two fragrance mods crafted by perfumer Michael Nordstrand. I applied them to my wrists, eager to trace their evolution. An hour later, the scent on my left wrist startled me. It smelled distinctly like corn. Perplexed, I mentioned it to Michael, who reviewed his formula and tested it himself. “No corn note here,” he said, unable to detect what I was experiencing. I brushed it off as a quirk, but the moment lingered.

Days later, while wandering the city with my cousin, I wore Multiball by Pearfat, a fragrance I cherish for its blend of electric dust and cherry cola, a nod to our partner’s pinball obsessions, something I share with perfumer Alie Kiral. As we roamed, I kept catching an unfamiliar whiff, assuming it came from passersby. When I finally sniffed my wrist, I realized it was me. On my left wrist, the vibrant cola and metallic notes had vanished, replaced by a heavy musk. This was a fragrance I know intimately, one that typically settles predictably. Yet, it had transformed.

Confused, I wondered if my depression could be altering my body’s chemistry, affecting how fragrances perform. Michael offered a compelling idea: dopamine levels in the brain might influence scent perception. When dopamine is abundant, pleasant scents can spark joy; when it’s depleted, as often happens in depression, we may become hypersensitive to certain odors, especially malodors. This hypothesis sent me down a research rabbit hole, revealing insights that felt both scientific and deeply personal.

Depression and Body Odor: A Chemical Shift

Depression doesn’t just affect the mind; it can alter the body in profound ways, including how we smell to others. Research suggests that emotional states, including depression, can influence body odor through changes in sweat composition. A 2012 study explored how emotions like fear and stress produce distinct chemical signatures in sweat, a phenomenon known as “emotional sweating.” This type of sweat, triggered by psychological stimuli rather than physical exertion, has a different chemical makeup, often resulting in a more pronounced or unpleasant odor . While this study focused on fear, its findings hint at a broader principle: our emotional state can manifest in our body’s scent.

Depression and Scent Perception

Beyond body odor, depression can alter how we perceive scents. The olfactory system is deeply connected to the brain’s emotion and memory centers, with the olfactory bulb sending signals directly to the amygdala and hippocampus. A 2023 study by Pohl et al. found that individuals with Major Depressive Disorder show reduced activation in secondary olfactory areas, which handle sensory integration. This could explain why Multiball’s vibrant notes felt muted to me. Meanwhile, a 2018 study by Houghton and Stein noted that chronic distress may heighten sensitivity to unpleasant odors, aligning with Michael’s dopamine hypothesis. Lower dopamine levels might dull the joy of pleasant scents, leaving musky or off notes more prominent.

Interestingly, scents can also influence mood. Pleasant fragrances like lavender or citrus can engage the brain’s reward circuits, potentially boosting dopamine. This raises a question I’m eager to explore: are there perfumes in my collection that still spark joy, even in this depressive state?

A Personal Experiment

This olfactory shift has inspired an experiment. I want to revisit my perfume collection, testing which scents remain comforting or uplifting. Could certain molecules cut through the fog of depression? Research suggests linalool has anxiolytic effects, shown to reduce anxiety in dental patients. I’m curious if it, or other profiles, might retain their appeal.

I’m also intrigued by how my body’s chemistry might be altering fragrance performance. The musky dominance on my left wrist could stem from changes in skin pH or sweat composition, possibly driven by stress hormones like cortisol. Why only my left wrist? It’s a mystery. Perhaps a difference in skin temperature, application, or my brain’s fixation on one side? I plan to test identical fragrances on both wrists, tracking which notes persist or shift.

A Journey Through Scent and Grief

This experience underscores how deeply our emotions intertwine with our senses. Perfumes like Multiball, with its playful nod to pinball, or Michael’s experimental mods aren’t just scents, they’re emotional touchstones. Yet, depression has cast them in a new light, revealing how our inner state shapes our sensory world. As I move forward, I’m excited to explore my fragrance collection with fresh curiosity, seeking scents that might lift my spirits or ground me in this challenging time.

I invite you to join me. Have you noticed scents smelling differently during emotional shifts? Share your stories in the comments. For those curious about the science, explore the studies below.

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References

1. NeuroLaunch editorial. “The Scent of Sadness: Understanding the Link between Depression and Body Odor.” NeuroLaunch.com, 11 July 2024, neurolaunch.com/they-say-they-can-smell-your-crippling-depression/.

2. Herrmann, Theresa, et al. “Olfactory Brain Activations in Patients with Major Depressive Disorder.” Scientific Reports, vol. 13, no. 1, Nature Portfolio, June 2023, pp. 10072–72, https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-36783-0.

3. Kontaris, Ioannis, et al. “Behavioral and Neurobiological Convergence of Odor, Mood and Emotion: A Review.” Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, vol. 14, Frontiers Media SA, Mar. 2020, https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2020.00035.

4. Sorokowska, A., Negoias, S., & Häusser, M. (2017). Food-Related Odors Activate Dopaminergic Brain Areas. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 11, 625. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29311879/.

5. Houghton, D. C., & Stein, D. J. (2018). Odor sensitivity impairment: a behavioral marker of psychological distress? Chemical Senses, 43(8), 643-652. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30259826/.

6. Sowndhararajan, K., & Kim, S. (2016). Influence of Fragrances on Human Psychophysiological Activity: With Special Reference to Human Electroencephalographic Response. Scientia Pharmaceutica, 84(4), 724-751. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27916830/.